


On The Topic of Fusion

by orphan_account



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canon Compliant, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Gay Space Rocks, Lapis Lazuli Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Lesbian Relationship, Oneshot, POV Lapis Lazuli (Steven Universe), Pearl likes rom coms, Steven Universe - Freeform, lapidot - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-28
Updated: 2019-01-28
Packaged: 2019-10-18 01:32:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17571770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Lapis reflects on her burgeoning relationship with Peridot.





	On The Topic of Fusion

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve been writing fics for the 100 and for the walking dead for months now and boy this is a complete tonal shift :,)

Lapis Lazuli had a lot of time to think on the moon. Before she found the Era One moon base sitting abandoned she had confined herself to the Barns loft and mindlessly watched Camp Pining Hearts first season on loop. She thinks about how selfish she was not leaving any tapes for Peridot to work herself into a fangirl fervor over. She thought about Peridot a lot.

  
  
  


When she figured out how to project beach city on the orb it took all the restraint she had left in her not to go back. Crickets chirping and all the other noises of a late summer night on earth hit her all at once. The boardwalk was quiet. The only movement came from the softly flickering street lights down main street. Lapis had thought the beach by the crystal gems temple  was deserted until she saw her. Peridot was sitting on a rock protruding from the sand using a stick to trace vaguely geometric patterns in the sand. Her little shoulders were slumped and her perky grin was entirely absent. She was alone and Lapis  _ hated _ herself for it.

  
  
  
  


She hadn’t touched the orb for  _ weeks _ after that. But slowly she’d found herself creeping back too curious and too lonely to leave well enough alone. It was pathetic really. Lapis watched Peridot come back out of her shell. She saw the other gem leave the fringes and join the group laughing at Steven’s antics, accepting the praise from the crystal gems as her metal bending became more pronounced. She watched her in her glaringly yellow flower girl dress trouncing down the aisle with her basket full of the flowers she’d picked near the crater of the home they once shared. She watched Ruby and Sapphire kiss and fuse back into Garnet. She’d selfishy enjoyed the wide eyed look on Peri’s face during the vows. She kept a watchful eye on the wedding after party and when Bismuth lift Peridot unto her well muscled shoulders she’d  felt an unfamiliar twinge deep down inside. 

  
  
  
  


Then Lapis had seen the ships hurtling down from the sky and the bile had risen in her throat and she’d known then that she couldn’t stand idly by and watch gems be shattered.  _ Not this time.  _ Lapis slammed the barn into an intergalactic dictator and it had been a blur ever since.

  
  
  


“ You're really here.” Peridot told her still shellshocked. The green gems eyes had been glassy with unshed tears and Lapis wondered if all of them had really come from blue and her mind tricks.

  
  
  


“Hey.” She had replied timidly.

  
  
  


There had been pain that night. The worst physical blows she’d been dealt since the day they put her in the mirror. But fading in and out of consciousness surrounding by crackling yellow light felt justifiable in some corner of Lapis’ mind that was still functioning. She’d done what she never could and stood up for what she’d known all along was right. Even if she was shattered that could never be taken away The last thing she’d pictured was Peridot’s face and then all was dark.

 

When she reformed en route to homeworld Lapis didn’t hesitate to insert herself into Bismuth’s battle plan. Peridot had been back for  _ days  _ keeping herself busy by fixing up Yellow and Blue half destroyed arm ships. It was only later that Bismuth told her later she’d spent most nights curled up next to Lapis’ gemstone waiting anxiously for any sign of regeneration.

  
  
  


They hadn’t had time to really talk until days after the diamonds had flown them home. Lapis spent her days trailing behind Steven and avoiding the newly corruption free crystal gems who hadn’t quite come to terms with her change of allegiance thousands of years after a war that for them, had only ended days earlier. 

  
  
  


Lapis found her in a back booth at Fish Stew tapping away at some video game on her tablet. Lapis had slid in opposite her and they’d sat together in silence for a minute. She opened her mouth to say something, anything but no words came.

  
  
  


“Hey Lazuli?” Peridot asked

  
  
  


“What is it?” She’d answered turning her head away nervously

  
  
  


“I love your pants!” The other gem had half shouted grabbing a fistful of the billowy material. 

  
  
  


Lapis grabbed Peridots face and brought their lips together. The little gem had sat there shocked. Peridot sputtered for a second after Lapis pulled away trying to wrap her head around whatever had just happened. For one terrible moment Lapis had thought she’d made a mistake until Peridot leaned across the booth and looked into her eyes.

  
  
  
  


“What was that for?” She teased adjusting the visor that had been knocked to the side during their kiss.

 

“I missed you.” Lapis shrugs and Peridot nods slowly.

  
  
  
  


“Duly noted Lazuli.”

  
  
  


The crystal gems family movie night became a weekly get together a few months after their trip to homeworld. Garnet would unfuse so Ruby and Sapphire would snuggle. More often than not Steven would invite Connie and she’d show up with microwave popcorn and her mother's leftover pound cake and they would all cram together on the couch and  watch the latest dog man or one of the flashy 80’s rom coms Pearl adored. One night Peridot and Lapis had stayed in the living room long after the others had gone back to their rooms. Peri had been laying with her head on Lapis’ lap their fingers entwined together. She was quite focused on an infomercial for an automatic vacuum cleaner until Lapis had spoken.

  
  
  


“Peri do you want to fuse with me?” She’d asked her nonchalantly running her fingers through the other gems fluffy yellow hair. Peridot had sat up so fast she almost hit Lapis in the face.

  
  
  


“Are you sure?” Peridot asked putting a hand on Lapis’ arm reassuringly. 

  
  
  


“Yes.” Lapis had whispered back even though she wasn’t. She hoped Peridot was convinced Gems that fell in love with each other fused. Ruby and Sapphire the Pearl and her Ruby who formed Rhodonite. Fusion was something they adored something that strengthened the bond between them. Lapis admired the ease in which Ruby and Sapphire danced the knowing way in which they fell into each other. Lapis leads Peridot out of house and down by the water and she twirls her around in her arms underneath the midnight moon and the dancing is gleeful but Lapis can’t stop thinking about what comes next and then suddenly in a flash they are together.

  
  
  


She is entirely herself but entirely not and even though there is nothing like the ruinous resistant pull she felt as Malachite Lapis doesn’t feel at peace. She is taller and a new color and the way she sees through an unfamiliar amount of eyes is  _ too much _ . The landscape around her is swirling and she feels the part of her that is Peridot recognize her uncertainty and then she is herself again collapsing on the sand sobbing.

 

“Lapis!” Peridot kneels next to her. The others gems voice is shrill and concerned. 

  
  


“I’m so sorry Peridot I-” She starts but the other gem cuts her off by pulling her in close.

  
  
  


“You weren’t ready.” She finishes. “I felt it Lapis.” 

  
  
  


“I don’t know if I ever will be Peridot. I came back to Earth. I fought the diamonds.  _ Twice.  _ I faced what I was afraid of the most and some things still wrong with me.” She confesses guiltily and the other gem looks back at her bewildered. 

  
  
  


“I don’t care Lazuli! We don’t  _ need _ to be like Garnet. Every gem is different. If you don’t want to fuse than I don’t either!” She shouts a little louder then is probably appropriate for Steven who is still asleep inside the house. Peri seems to realize that cupping hand over her mouth and speaking a little quieter “I don’t need to be a part of you to know you.”

  
  
  


Lapis doesn’t know what she’s done to deserve a gem like Peridot. Someone who was willing to wait for her to heal. Even if that meant losing an entire barn filled with a year of art projects and innumerable boxsets of a certain canadian dramedy. And even if fusion will never be a  possibility she’s comfortable with Lapis is keeping her as close as possible.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Based off of a recent interview in which Rebecca Sugar stated her thoughts on the plausibility of a Lapidot fusion/why we didn’t get one during change your mind. Feedback is much appreciated!


End file.
